2002-09-19 / 10:44 p.m.
The Times Have Changed
Greetings,
It has been a couple months now, and not a day went by that I felt by for abandoning this diary. Recent events have convinced me to come back and do some soul searching/relive my past. Let's take it from the top.
I don't know what caused me not to update this for so long, but whatever it was, it was like a demon in the back of my head, able to sabotage me at will with fear. It's hard for me to admit it, but my biggest fear is fear itself. I feel that I've recovered far enough now to try to get back into what I desired, my return to the love of writing.
For the last two months, it's been on crazy stunt after another. Things at work were one big mess after another. Back in June, as I'm sure I mentioned before, my
wife had an ovarian cyst. It wasn't until August that we convinced work to forgive the time that she had to miss. Then she got laryngitis. Or so we think, as her condition isn't completely over right now. Tomorrow we get to find out if she's got thyroid problems or not, but it's given me enough pause, as her income is intricately tied into our quality of life, and I don't want her to lose her job, or be forced to take a job that'll cut her income dramatically.
That's been the major problem throughout the summer, her deteriorating health. However, it's not been all that bad. At work, I finally launched the Purple Press, and now we've gone through our second issue. I'll post screenshots of it and it's
contents probably tomorrow, since I can't post the original MS Publisher files. That, and I've finally gotten a long-awaited transfer to a new department. I used to do Lowe's Appliance Advantage calls, but I'm now two weeks through training to do troubleshooting for DirecTV systems. This is a much more high tech department than Lowe's ever could be, and it promises to be a challenge.
In Lowe's, I was one of the top ten performers in call time, phone stats, and quality. I've tried to become a team lead there, but they turned me down
because I happen to have missed one more day than a bigger brown-noser. I'm not bitter, in fact. I'm glad. I'd rather be in DTV than that program, because that program is on the Express Elevator going to Hell, and it's going down.
Back to the training though. It is one big-ass bear to deal with. I've been working late-night shifts for nearly three years straight, and then I had to start pulling 8:30-5:30 shifts with only a week's notice. My body is still kicking my mental ass, but it's been like this before, and I can do it again. If I can stay awake.
There were 18 people in my class when it started. It's even being taught by the same trainer that taught my Lowe's class. Believe me, I'm giving her all the hell that I can, when I can. It's fun. :) Unfortunately, we're now down to 10 people for various reasons. I can't wait for all these newbies to go through the P.C. hell that's SOP (standard Operating Procedure) there. At least it was our center director's birthday, and some wiseass had posted old pictures of her being 'arrested' back when she worked at her previous job. It was a staged act for charity, but it's a comforting thought to see the assholes get led off in cuffs, right?
There's been another major thing going on. I have finally decided, after long and deliberate discussions with my wife, and some research, to try to enlist in the military today. Which branch? The Marines?
Amazingly, no.
My brother Matt, the jarhead, is here on leave, and I'll talk about that next, but he told me that, me wanting to go active duty, I shouldn't consider the Corps because it's not really for married people. Instead, I'm swallowing my pride (well, no, not really) and toying with the idea of going into either the Army or Air Force. I've actually talked with some of the Army recruiters.
When I was getting ready to graduate back in high school, I was denied enlistment due to bad eyesight,
despite it being 20/20 correctable. The Army guys are telling me that, while I'll have to retake the ASVABs (no surprise since I already knew that they're only good for 2 years) and get a new physical, that there's nothing permanently disqualifying me from retrying, especially since America is technically in a state of war.
Now, before I get a bunch of advice from people about how they're all cheaters, I'm already aware of this. I know that it's not all guns and glory, and that there's plenty of crap that goes on there. I still regularly read the Defense Watch newsletter put out by
sftt.org, and I know that there can be some bad shit. However, there are some benefits. Compared to corporate America's offers, you really can't beat assistance with housing, college, free healthcare, and the like. Besides, I'll likely be coming out of the military with real marketable skills. It's really an appealing deal. But, of course, you become government property for the rest of your life. Feels like I'm making a deal with the Prince of Darkness Himself. Am I too far off in that description? More on it as it develops.
It's good to see Matt home again. His little daughter will turn one next month, and she's already walking. She's also getting her memory down, as she's able to recognize people now. She'll be a smart girl. When Matt came in on Sunday, he and I talked while driving to my place. HE was telling me that we're going to
Iraq one way or another, as he's been issued Desert cammies, been scheduled for Anthrax
and other shots when he gets back, and his vehicles are even going in for repainting.
One thing's for sure, he's scared shitless. It was amazing to hear that admission from my gung-ho brother, who finally realized that he's mortal. When you go to Marine boot camp (I'm not sure if it's a standard throughout all the Armed Forces, but it wouldn't surprise me), they show you pictures of bodies that have been desecrated by mines, bullets, NBC weapons, etc., etc. He told me that he made a deal with some of his friends that, if they went and he got exposed to that shit, that they'd end his life instead of having him wait for it to come as painfully as that shit does. I don't blame him, and I know that
Nicki's come to think about it as we talk about my possible enlistment.
Anyways, it's 0-dark-thirty right now, and I've got an early day tomorrow. Time to start jogging in the morning. Maybe
Witchy can give me some good jogging tips.
Time is short and talk is cheap. We shall speak again.
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